continued. . .

I find myself going in circles, thinking the same thoughts over and over again. Sometimes I feel so stuck where I am, not knowing how to move on or what to do. I feel like I can change, and get better, become a better person. But sometimes it just feels impossible, like I will be stuck in this place forever.
Life moves in a big circle... You move in your circle for so long, then all of the sudden you start a new circle. I ern for that new circle, for change, for renewal. NOthing seems new anymore... it's all the same.
I am going to bring new things into my life. 2008 is going to be the year when I change. I know I am better than a lot of the thoughts I think. I am going to move out of this old house, and be new again...
I want new creative things in my life. I want to try new things and experiance new things. I want to make new friends and see new places. I want to hear new music and get out of that same comfort zone that I am used to.

moving on

There are so many things in my life I know I am holding on to. Sometimes it feels so hard to move on, and keep growing.
I know so much that I need to grow. I have a lot of issues built up inside me, and I have trouble letting go of them all. I need to work through those hard parts.
I also have a hard time making things for me to do. I get very anxious when I have a lot of time to think....more later....

all topsy turvy

well it is well past my bed time... it's 1:30 in the morning and usually on a wednesday night I would be fast asleep.
Now that I don't have a routine for awhile.. I am all messed up! I woke up this morning at... 12:40 and now I am awake.
I think it's funny that what we do for a living dictates how we live. Now that I dont; have routine my eating habits are different... i.e. I don't want to eat until dinner time...I just drink coffee during the day now.
It is so weird how we have made ourselves eat at certain times, wake up at certain times, maybe even have bathroom breaks at certain times.
What have we done to ourselves...???

Crazy Cat Lady

I am convinced I am going to be a crazy cat lady when I grow up. I will live in a house full of clutter and throw cats at people. (

I had a really wonderful dream where I was married. My husband's name was Kevin and I was so happy. *sigh*. Sometimes I just get.. really sad about being alone. I mean, this is probably the worst thing you can do when you want the opposite to happen. But sometimes I just need to feel a bit sad about it all. Last night I was watching t.v. with my mom, my dad and my brother, and I just felt so pathetic...Like here I am on a Sat. night with my family at home. No wonder I am single...

I know I need to make the best of it, and I just keep thinking he's out there.. I know he's out there somewhere...but for now.. I'm still alone.

MEN!!!!!!!!!!! (beware angry venting)

I would like to know where some men get off.
You may think they are the nicest guys, then they turn around and treat you like shit... What's the deal with that??

I love how some men think they know what you are thinking. I love how they just make these conclusions in thier heads about you. Maybe if you just talked to me then you would know what I am feeling/doing...and what my intentions are. BUT NOoooooooooooooooooooo some guys don't talk.. they know what they want and then you are pretty much garbage to them. WHY talk when you can just go on to the next girl.

Why are so many guys ASSHOLES. Granted, I realize not all men are assholes...there are so many nice guys out there that know how to treat a lady. (that is why I said so many and not all) I also recognize that women can be asshole-ish too.

Why do guys hide their jerk-like qualities so well.. like they pretend to like you but they actually don't...

arg.... just ARG.